Diets are so hard to stick to!

Ok, I fell off the wagon....AGAIN...and I hit the ground so hard I think I'm going to have a major bruise. WHY can't I stick with this? I know I will feel better, have more energy and be happier if I lose this weight, but for some reason I keep going off program and eating junk, junk and more junk. Argh! I am still going to the gym faithfully, but that is only because my mom goes with me. If I were doing it alone, I KNOW I would have skipped that too. What is it going to take to get it through my thick head that I have to do this or I'm never going to be healthy? Is it going to take a major illness (heart attack, stroke, etc) and a trip to the hospital to do it? Is it going to take someone's mean or rude comment to do it? I just don't know. I've had the mean and rude comments, the hurt feelings, the clothes no longer fitting, the lack of energy, but none of those things have kept me motivated for long. I can ignore the comments and can buy bigger clothes. Oh, I just want to scream! And cry...because I know if I don't do something soon that the trip to the hospital might be something that I have to deal with in the near future.