Monday, September 26, 2005

Just not in the mood

No, it's not what you're thinking. I'm not talking whoopee here. I'm talking diet. Nutrisystem. Exercise. I just am NOT in the mood to behave. I've skipped breakfast lately. I've not drank my water. I've gone out to eat and NOT picked the healthier stuff instead I've ate junk. It's been like this for at least a week now. I think a lot of it is because I'm almost out of NS food. I'm tired of the stuff that I have and it's just harder to stick with it when I know what's in the cabinet is NOT what I'm wanting. I do have a new order shipping out today so hopefully once that gets here, I will have an easier time.

As far as exercise, I have jumped on the trampoline, but not to the point of breaking a sweat. I did go for a walk over the weekend and that felt good, but again it wasn't strenuous. But I guess it's better then nothing.

No loss for the week either, but that's no surprise. How do I expect to lose anything when I'm cramming cookies down my throat? At least it wasn't a gain, but that's no excuse either. I'm trying to think positive, but sometimes it is just so hard.

I need to get out of the mindset that I have to hit McDonald's every morning after I drop the kids off at school too. I've been doing that a lot here lately. Usually it's just to grab a diet coke, but the past couple of times I've also gotten the steak, egg and cheese bagel. NOT GOOD! Well, the bagel tastes good, but the amount of fat and calories in it isn't good.

How do I stop doing these things? To help with the McD's situation, I guess it would help to not keep any money in my purse. Having to hit the ATM before going there would be a big deterrent for me. I could take a bottle of water with me in the car like I used to do when I first started NS. That would help too, I'm sure.

I guess what I need to do is just recommit to this whole thing. Look back over what I've done in the past to get to where I am now. What did I do when I first started NS? Was it just pure willpower? Or did I weigh and measure all of my food? Keep NS snacks handy for those times in the car when McD's would call my name? I need to rethink the reasons why I want to lose weight and get healthy too. The major reason is to live to a ripe old age and enjoy my husband, kids and future grandkids. To look good in my clothes. To be able to walk through the mall without breaking a sweat or getting cramps in my legs after only a few minutes. Just to be able to do all of the things that I can't do now.

Ok, so all of this talk IS helping. I feel better and hopefully will get back on track now. It won't be easy, but knowing that other people are reading this and cheering me on helps a ton. I don't want to let anybody down especially myself. I'm just as important as anybody else in this world. I should be able to do the things that will make me happy too. I can do it! I WILL do it!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Blowing raspberries at my scale

ARGH! This is my very first official weigh-in since starting NS in April that I am showing a weight gain! I've had gains throughout the week, but none on my "official" day. Up two pounds this week. I knew it would happen eventually, but things were going so well that I was hoping to be immune to those little weight fluctuations. I know that most of it is water gain because TOM is coming to visit soon, but still. It is very frustrating to see the scale go up instead of down especially when you are working so hard. Oh well. Next week will be better.

My calves are finally feeling better. I hopped on the trampoline again this morning, but only did a little bit of the video instead of pushing myself to do the whole thing. I stopped when my legs couldn't handle it anymore. As painful as those calves were over the weekend, I really don't want to go through that again. I hope to build up to the whole time within a week or two. It's only a 20 minute session so it really shouldn't take too long to get there.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Oh, The pain! The agony!

OMG! I thought my calves would have forgiven me by now for jumping on the trampoline Friday, but no such luck. They are still screaming at me for doing such a horrible thing to them. Each morning, I have gotten out of bed only to have both legs tell me to lay back down. Once I'm up walking around, they do feel better. It is only after I sit down then try to get back up that I have problems. I've tried every thing to get them to feel better too. Soaking in a hot bath with Epsom salt, icy hot, leg rubs, ibuprofen. NOTHING is working. I'm afraid if they don't feel better by tomorrow that I won't even want to begin to think about getting back on the trampoline and that will totally mess up my exercise plan. I'm one that has a big problem starting anything new. If I can't do it every day until it is a habit, that habit never forms. So, any idea of how to get these calves of mine to stop hating me for exercising? If so, let me know. I'm desperate enough to try just about anything now.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Urban Rebounder-mini trampoline




Hello all! I received my urban rebounder last night from the cute UPS guy:) Immediately brought it in and put it together. Thankfully it wasn't more then snapping some legs on. I was afraid it would be more complicated then that. Decided to watch the video before hopping on to make sure I did it right. Did that and it really looked like a lot of fun. My kids really enjoyed it when I fast forwarded the tape. The guy looked like the bionic man jumping around. HA! So, this morning I hopped on the trampoline after I finished running all my errands, thinking of how easy it was going to be. I mean, it was just jumping up and down and for the most part the trampoline was going to be helping me bounce. Should be a piece of cake to finish the video and not be wiped out. WRONG!!!! That silly little thing whooped my butt! Seriously, after only 2 minutes of jumping I was wiped out! I couldn't believe it. Here you see all of these kids jumping on those outdoor trampolines and they can go for hours, it seems, without getting tired. Believe me, I speak from experience. My nephew, who is 6 years old, has one and he can jump on that thing all evening without breaking a sweat. So, here I am, huffing and puffing after only 2 minutes? What the heck?!!?! I stopped and sat down, but then decided to give it another try. Possibly just jumping without doing all the fancy footwork that the video showed. I made it through the 20 minute beginner set, but my legs felt like jello and were cramping up really bad in my calves. When I finally got the cramps worked out of my legs and was cooled off though I realized that it was fun. I think once I build up endurance that I'll be a hopping fool. I do think it's going to take awhile to do that though. The beginner video is 20 minutes long. I also received an intermediate and advanced workout set. I've not watched those yet, but figure they get longer and more intense the farther you go. I hope to be able to do that advanced workout within a few months, at least. My goal right now though is to just get through the beginner one and do all the moves without pooping out. Wish me luck!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

I'm singing in the rain!

Finally, some much needed rain is falling here. It's been so dry lately. My allergies have been bothering me nonstop for weeks now. I'm hoping the rain helps clear some of the pollen out of the air so I can actually breathe again.

In other news, I talked about getting one of those mini trampolines a few days ago. Well, I found one and ordered it. Should be here some time today. I'm excited. They just look like so much fun. I think if I'm actually having fun that I will stick with it better. The experts, whoever they are, always say that in order to make exercise a habit that you have to enjoy doing what you're doing. I haven't found anything yet, but hopefully the mini trampoline will be it. I'll let you know.

Monday, September 12, 2005

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

No loss this week. It's the same thing every few weeks. I'll do really good for awhile then nothing. I guess as long as I'm not gaining I am happy.

I've given up the gazelle for exercise. I was doing really good using it, but the past few times it has left my right hip really hurting. So painful the last time that I had to stop using it after only 15 minutes. I have decided to get a mini trampoline instead. I've heard a lot of people on the NS boards saying that they love the Urban Rebounder so have been scouting around for something similar. I will let you know how that goes. More then likely, my kids will confiscate it from me and I'll never get to use it. That sounds about right.

Had an awesome weekend. Hubby and I FINALLY got a night away from the kids. We ended up going to a casino, out for dinner then stayed in a nice hotel for the evening. The casino is about 2.5 hours away from our house so the hotel stay was pretty much a necessity since neither of us was wanting to drive back home in the wee hours of the morning. Unfortunately, neither of us won the jackpot. We went with high hopes and dreams of winning enough to retire, but we both actually lost about $50 each. Oh well. It was fun and it was nice to spend time with hubby.

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

A little bit of silver lining is showing underneath that cloud

My mood has improved a bit. My brother had his annual Labor Day get together and seeing friends and family, I'm sure, helped a lot. We were outside all afternoon enjoying the nice weather and played games and just enjoyed ourselves. People who I'd not seen for awhile were complimenting me on my weight loss and that made me feel really good. Especially since I STILL really can't see a difference myself. The positive comments really made me want to get back on track with my eating. So, today I'm back to 100% on NS. I even did a bit of exercise this morning again. Not as much as I wanted, but at least I was up and moving. Also had a nice surprise on the scale yesterday with it showing a 2 lb. loss for the week. That makes 33 total now. I'm getting there slowly but surely:)

Sunday, September 4, 2005

Little black rain cloud



Have you ever had one of those days when you just don't care about anything? You don't care if you get out of bed in the morning. You don't care if you get dressed? You just don't care.

I'm having one of those days. Or, I guess a better thing would be to say that I'm having one of those weeks. I've just not felt right. I don't give a rat's behind whether I do anything worthwhile or not. I just want to lay in bed and sleep. I don't want to watch tv, get on the computer, live my life. Nothing. Even when I do get up and do something, it doesn't seem to go right and that just makes me even more depressed. And, of course, when I feel this way I also don't care whether I follow my Nutrisystem diet or not. I've gone so far off plan these past few days that when I hopped on the scale this morning it showed a 3 lb. weight gain! And that just makes me even more depressed about everything. It's an endless cycle. Hubby even told me this morning that I'm no fun anymore which makes me feel even worse because now I'm bringing other people into this crap!

I'm hoping that I wake up one of these days and things finally look better and I'll snap out of this funk. I feel like one of those cartoons where you see the little black cloud hovering over the kids head and they are the only one who's getting rained on. Go away little black rain cloud. I'm ready for some sunshine!

Friday, September 2, 2005

Gasoline and Hurricane Katrina thoughts

I just can't believe how expensive the gasoline has gotten since Hurricane Katrina hit. In my hometown, the price ranges anywhere from $3.12/gal to $3.30/gal. And that's if the station even still has any gas to buy. I know of three stations that have already run out and have no idea when they'll be getting more. Scary. My husband drives a lot in his business and if the prices keep going up, we don't know what's going to happen. If he can't purchase diesel anywhere close, it could really lead to major business problems. I guess we'll just keep plugging away, doing what needs to be done though. Hopefully things will get better soon.

I've also been watching the news about the people in the Gulf states and wishing that I could do something to help. I've already made a donation to the Red Cross and I also received an email from my son's teacher today saying that the kids were going to be gathering water and nonperishable food supplies to send down there. I just wish I could do more.