Stressed Out

Stress. This seems to be the topic of many a blog post here recently. I am also hearing it from several people that I've run into in stores, at the bank, etc. What is causing so many people to be in maximum overdrive here lately? And, how do you react to it when you hit that point?

When I'm stressed out, I like to just get away from it all. If it is business that is stressing me out (and believe me, being self-employed is a major stress factor in and of itself!), I close my office door, turn off the phone and don't think about it. Family member causing me grief? I go into another room and chill. I know this doesn't "fix" the cause of stress, but it gets me away from it long enough to at least keep from losing my mind or going ballistic on a customer, which I have done before. I'm not proud of it, but at the time it sure felt good. lol

Some other forms of stress relief that I use are:

1) a nice, long, hot bubble bath. There is just something about warm water, bubbles and candlelight that calms me down quick.

2) dancing. If I'm super stressed, I need to get some of that energy out so I find the fastest paced song on the radio and dance it away. Yeah, I look silly and I've had several family members actually walk out of the room, but you know what? I felt better by the time I was finished.

3) alcohol. Ok, you knew that one was going to be on my list. I try not to resort to a drink too often, but there are just some days that require a good stiff drink. I prefer mojitos, but have been known to slam back a few shots of whatever is available at the moment too. I don't get rip roaring drunk, but there is enough alcohol in my bloodstream to calm me waaayyyy dooowwwwnnnn.

4) sex. Yep, that is a wonderful stress reliever. No explanations needed!

5) and finally, blogging. Sometimes I just need to get my feelings out in the open but there isn't anybody around to actually talk to so I blog. There is something really calming about putting those feelings down on paper (or on the computer screen). It is almost as though a weight has been lifted and you can actually feel the stress drifting away. I don't always post what I've written. I might be in jail now if I actually posted some of the things I've thought about doing to a few certain people when they've stressed me out:) Just writing them down helps to relax me.

Ok, those are my top five ways to relieve stress. What do you do when things get to be too much for you to handle?

Shaken...Not Stirred

When you have a herniated disc, it probably isn't the best idea to ride in a truck without good suspension for 4 hours. I went with hubby last night to take his truck to be serviced. I've never ridden in one of his work trucks before so had no idea what I was in for. Let me tell you, I will not be riding in another one any time soon. Every little bump sent me flying off my seat, a good 4 inches into the air! Who knew that I needed to wear a sports bra to ride in one of his trucks either! Ouch!

The trip back home wasn't as bad. I guess either that side of the highway wasn't as bumpy or I was just getting better at absorbing the shock myself. Regardless, I was very glad to get home. This morning I'm so sore I feel like someone took a ball bat to me. Not fun. I'm hoping a good long time in the pool this afternoon, floating and just relaxing, will help a lot. If not then look out tonight because many, many mojitos will be on my menu.

Where Did All the Time Go?

Wow, tomorrow is the beginning of August already. Where in the world did this summer go? I have a feeling what remains is really going to fly by. I checked my calendar yesterday and there is one week of August already that is completely filled in. It's not even fun stuff that it is full of, darn it. It's doctor's appointments, school registration, work stuff, etc.

I think I will take a week that has nothing scheduled and make a fun one out of it. How does "Mon-meet girls for margaritas, Tues-spa for massage, Wed-lunch with best friend, Thurs-coffee with mom and Fri-date night with hubby" sound? Yeah. I thought so. Sounds good to me too.

Finding out today

Today is my doctor's visit to finally find out what is going on with my back. I leave in one hour and will fill everybody in when I return on what Dr. Wilson tells me. I hope it is decent news and not something along the lines of "well, we did all these tests and we really need to do this test now because the first tests didn't tell us what we need to know". I've been that route already. I want answers this time!


Update: Well, I am in shock. So much so that I almost forgot to post this update. I went to see the dr. as I said earlier and didn't get good news. It's nothing life threatening or anything, just frustrating. I do indeed have a herniated disc at either L-4 or L-5, I can't remember which he said. Normally, for this they would go in and do a discectomy, but since I'm lucky to have two rods in my back this won't be happening for me. Actually, NOTHING will be happening for me. Why? Because the herniated disc is underneath the lower rod in my back and there is a ton of bone that has fused that rod to my spine that they'd have to drill through and remove along with a lot of scar tissue. Dr. Wilson said that he wouldn't even want to try to go in and fix the disc because more then likely as soon as he took bone or scar tissue away from my spinal column there would be fluid leakage...a lot of fluid. Not good. He also said that he'd have to reposition the rod and that could cause nerve damage or possibly paralysis. He also told me that the lower rod is no longer attached to my spine, but that has nothing to do with the pain i'm having and really won't cause me any problems because it is encased in the bone so at least that was one kind of good thing to come out of this visit. He did say that 90% of people with herniated discs have them heal on their own within a year. I hope I'm one of those 90%. I do feel better then I did over Memorial Day and the numbness isn't as bad as it was back in April so that's good. Maybe that is a good sign? I hope so. Since the disc is already herniated, he didn't recommend physical therapy. He did say that they could try to go in and give me a steroid shot, if I wanted, but after he told me HOW they would do that I refused to have it done. Nope, I'll live with it. Unless it gets much, much, much worse, I will just live with it.

Attack of the Frogs

When I was a little girl, I was a true tom boy. I played in the dirt, jumped ramps on my bike, played hoops and just did things that it wasn't common to see a little girl do. I also liked to explore the woods by our house and would almost always come home with a toad or two that I'd found in the creek.

Fast forward to my teen years and adulthood: I really outgrew the tom boy stage. Probably about the time I discovered that boys weren't as icky as I'd thought they were. I started wearing makeup, fixing my hair, stopped playing in the dirt, jumping my bike or shooting hoops and I definitely quit collecting toads, bugs, etc. Actually, I started acting the part of the girl who was afraid of them! Not my true self at all...or so I thought.

A couple of nights ago, my husband and I were in the pool, just enjoying a nice relaxing evening, when all of a sudden I see a tree frog peek out from underneath the pool ledge. I immediately got OUT of the pool. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind frogs. I just don't want to be as close to them as I used to be. The tree frog decided to serenade us with a song, but the weird thing was that when he started singing another frog peeked out from the ledge, then another frog, then another frog. I'd never seen anything like it.

Next day, my daughter and I decide to hop in the pool again. I knew the frogs might still be there, but the heat won out and I got in anyway. My daughter is just like I was when I was younger. She'll pick up a frog, praying mantis, bugs of any sort, no problem. She decided to check under the ledge and see if the frogs were just up under there hiding, staying out of the sunshine. Sure enough she found one and decided to catch it with the net we use to clean the leaves out of the pool. I told her not to, but she didn't listen, saying the frog would just jump into the net and she'd toss him out into the tree row. Let me just say that my daughter was not my favorite person that day. She cornered that frog and he jumped, but not into the net. No, he jumped into the pool! I immediately grabbed the legs of my swim shorts because you know the first thought I had was that the stupid frog would swim up into them and go exploring! Thankfully he didn't, but I must have made a pretty funny sight because my daughter busted out laughing. She was laughing so hard that she couldn't concentrate on finding the darn frog, which only made me more paranoid. After what seemed like hours, she finally calmed down and did find the frog, caught him and tossed him into the tree row. She said she'd look for others, but I forbid her from doing that. Needless to say, I had a hard time relaxing in the pool that day.

Yesterday, we decided to swim again, but this time my daughter got in first and took all the froggies out so I didn't have to deal with them. Like I said, I don't mind them, but I do NOT want to swim with them at all.

Getting Ready

Today has been spent getting things ready for our trip to Chicago tomorrow. I did a small clutter busting mission throughout the house this morning since my mom will be coming back Saturday to feed and visit with our kitty. I have started a list of things I want to pack. Haven't actually started packing yet, but as long as I have my list it shouldn't take long. Did a small load of laundry this morning to wash up some outfits that my daughter wanted to wear this weekend. Checked the batteries in my digital camera (they were dead so bought new). I even made a few small snacks (popcorn, pretzels, crackers, etc) to take in the car for the road trip so we didn't have to keep stopping for munchies or drinks. It's only a 5-6 hour drive, but I'm sure someone along the way will say they are hungry or thirsty.

Later this evening, I will also be attempting to color my hair. At the moment, I have several gray strands peeking through and I really don't want them "peeking" out in any pictures that might be taken of myself this weekend. I don't like having my picture taken anyway, let alone with a skunk stripe of gray running down the middle of my head so will get that done tonight.

I am really hoping that my back doesn't decide to flare up on me and bother me this weekend. I'm worried that the long drive up to Chicago will set it off or that the different bed Friday night will make it to where I can barely stand up straight Saturday morning. I already know that I'm not going to be able to do a lot of walking before it starts hurting. I tried doing some yesterday and it didn't take long at all before pain started shooting down my leg. I even tried walking laps in the pool, but only made it three times around before it hurt there too. So that is going to limit some of my sight-seeing fun. My daughter did let me know that Navy Pier rents out wheelchairs, but I really don't want to do that. I'm not disabled, I just have a pinched nerve and I would hate to take a chair that someone else might need worse then I do.

Anywho, I should probably get off here and finish up some more stuff. I'll be sure to fill you all in when we return on how our trip went. As for now, I hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July weekend!

Finally Figured It Out

After much, much, much debate on where we should go this upcoming 4th of July weekend for a nice, albeit short, vacation, we have finally decided on the Windy City...yep, Chicago here we come.

I was beginning to think that my family was never going to agree on a location. We had places ranging from Tampa to San Diego to Galveston...all of these are plane rides away and would require a bit more planning on my end to accomplish. We also had Lake of the Ozarks, Kentucky Lake, Chicago, and Nashville on the list too, all within driving distance and much more doable, in my opinion, for a 3 day weekend.

All of these places would be nice to visit. I'd love to actually make it to every single one of them eventually. BUT...when you only have 3 days and really don't want to spend a lot of time either driving or a lot of money to fly, well, a 3-4 hour trip is just so much better.

I think we will be able to accomodate every person's vacation desires by going to Chicago. My daughter wants a beach/ocean view...well, there's Lake Michigan for her. My son wants fun stuff, like amusement park rides. Well, hello, Navy Pier!! They have a huge ferris wheel just beckoning him to test it out. My hubby's desire was good food. Hmm, Chicago and food? Yeah, I think he'll be pleasantly surprised with what he can find to tempt his taste buds in good ol' Chicago. Myself, well, I didn't really have any one thing that I wanted in a trip. Mine was more a combination of a water view (again, the lake), fun stuff to do (all types of attractions) and being able to spend a nice weekend with my family and not having to worry about work. I definitely think that one is doable.

Scared Sh**less!

Ok, today is the day....ct scan with myleogram. My hands are shaking so bad that I can barely type this. I don't know why I'm so scared. People take this test every day with no problem. Why do I think that I'll be that 1% that has complications? I don't know. Fear of the unknown? Yeah, that's probably it. I have to leave in about fifteen minutes, will be there for approximately four hours, then should be home around noon or so. I'll fill everyone in on how it goes. Wish me luck. And while you're at it....anybody out there want to take my place? Please?!??!

Neurologist Visit

I went to see the neurologist today. After many months of waiting, it was finally the "big day". I picked up my mom (she went along for moral support) and we were on our way. I got there about 20 minutes early and after checking in, the nurse led me right back to the exam room. No waiting at all, which was a very nice surprise. I was only in the exam room for maybe 10 minutes when the doctor came in. First thing he did was introduce himself then sat down and asked me tons of questions about the pain, how long it has been going on, what type (burning, stinging, stabbing), location of pain, etc.

He then went to the physical exam. He did the reflex thing where they hit your knee and I tested fine there. I also did fine on the other reflex tests that he did. I did not do well on the strength tests he had me do. I couldn't move my leg forward when he was pushing against it and I couldn't straighten my leg out in front of me when I tried before it started hurting. I also couldn't walk without a limp or without leaning forward, which he noticed as soon as I got up from the chair to walk to the exam table.

Results from this appointment were inconclusive. Dr. Wilson said he couldn't read the mri from all the hardware that is in my back. He said that the metal showed up wonderfully, but the spine/discs/etc. were so blurry that it looked like the pictures were taken underwater. So, he scheduled me for a ct scan with myleography. I was hoping I wouldn't have to have that done, but I go in June 17th for that. This is where they inject me with iodine and take pics that way. I will have that done then go back to see the neurologist at the end of July. That's the soonest they could get me back in. Argh! This means another 2 f***ing months before I know anything! I was a bit peeved afterwards, but what can I do? I knew I wouldn't get any definitive answers today anyway, but it is still annoying.

Damn It!!!!

Just went out to check the pool cover to see if all the water had been drained off only to find out that we have no water INSIDE the darn pool now! Seems that we had what the pool supply company is calling "the bathtub effect" take place. In other words, as the water on the cover got heavier, it pushed the water inside the pool up and under the top rail, between the walls and out onto the ground.....all.....winter.....long. Now waiting on the water hauling service we used last year to call me back with a price quote. I know it's going to be way more expensive this year since the cost of fuel has gone up so much. What do you do though? I bought that pool to swim in during the summer, I'm not going to just let it sit there.

EDIT: $35 per load plus $65 per hour, averaging 3 hours per load. That is the quote from the water hauler. I know when he first filled the pool, it took 4 loads. I figure this time will take at least 3 loads. That is going to come to around $690! It only cost us $500 to fill it completely last year!

What does this mean?

I went to pick up a copy of my MRI today so I can take it to the neurologist on Monday. When I got the copy home, I had to look at it just to see what my spine looks like and found a note in with the films. It was a letter to my regular doctor stating the findings on the MRI. I'm doing some digging online to see what some of these words mean, but here is what was said:

At L4-5, disc desiccation is present Huh? What is desiccation? I looked online and this is what I've found so far.

This means "atrophy" or "drying out" of the intervertebral disc, resulting in loss of height. Spinal discs are normally rubbery round pads that are filled with a jelly-like substance called the nucleus. Normal disks are well hydrated, the nucleus containing 80 to 85% water and the anulus about 80%. Together with the cartilaginous end plates of the adjacent vertebral bodies, the intervertebral disk forms a disk complex that gives structural integrity to the interspace and cushions the mechanical forces applied to the spine. Dessication is often considered the first stage of spinal degenerative changes, and no longer provides the cushioning necessary between vertebrae.

Ok, so that would explain why I'm half an inch shorter now then I was when I was younger.

Metallic artifact at this level creates limitation of evaluation of patency of the canal Ok, I know what metallic artifact is. I have two steel rods in my back along with several pins and screws from my scoliosis surgery. But what is "Patency of the canal"?

Looks like this is talking about the narrowing of the spinal canal. Apparantly, the metal is making it too hard for the doctor to tell if there is any narrowing of the spinal canal here. Patent means the pathways are clear. I hope mine are.

And finally:

The canal and neuroforamina are patent at L5-S-1 Again, this looks to have something to do with the narrowing of the spinal canal. The neuroforamina is the neural opening. Again, patent means open so I guess this mean that the neural opening is clear and there isn't anything bulging into that space? Now I'm more confused then ever. The only thing I figured out for sure was that first paragraph about the disc desiccation. Everything else is still a muddled mess in my head. Guess I'll just wait and see if the neurologist can explain it better to me in simple English.

Happy Hump Day

I'm so far off on my days this week since Monday was a holiday. All day today I've been trying to say it is Thursday. I guess I'm trying to get my doctor's appointment here faster. I mentioned in yesterday's post that the doctor rescheduled me for this coming Monday, June 2nd, so I'm very happy that I don't have to wait until next Friday now. That's a few less days of suffering that I can look forward too. I know that I'm not going to go in and get instant relief from the doctor, but I am hoping that he can at least come up with a solution for me. I'm even OK with the idea of surgery now. I had said in the beginning that I would not go through another back surgery, but after seeing how much pain I was in over the weekend and the total lack of mobility that I had, well, let's just say that my mind has been changed. Plus, I talked to my brother in law, who had surgery for a ruptured disk a few years ago and he is fine so what do I have to worry about. Right?

I also talked to a relative of my sister in law who's daughter had disk surgery just this past year. She was telling me about microdiskectomy, which is what her daughter had. It's all done through a teeny tiny little incision so no major scars and very little time in the hospital, if any at all. The doctor that I am going to be seeing actually does this as an outpatient procedure! I've done a bit of reading about this option and, if I would have to have surgery, this would be the one that I'd hope to have. Let's hope it doesn't come to the surgery deal, but if so I'm prepared. I have also read up on the lumbar disk surgery so know what to expect from that too. I guess I won't know anything though until my doctor's appointment.

It's Over Already?

Did I really have a 3 day weekend? It sure doesn't feel like it. Maybe it's because my back was out for 2 of those 3 days and I didn't get to enjoy the time off work like I'd wanted. Yeah, you read that right. My darn back was out. It started bugging me Saturday, but not enough that it stopped me from doing laundry and other chores. No, it waited until I got up Sunday morning, the day of my brother's picnic, to really kick in. I was able to take vicodin and at least get up to my brothers, eat lunch and visit with family a little, but I was so spacey that I didn't really enjoy myself. We ended up leaving early and coming back home. I thought that rest would help me feel better, but by the time Sunday evening got here I was to the point that I just wanted someone to shoot me. I couldn't stand up. I couldn't sit down. I couldn't move without my back sending shooting pain up my back and down my legs. I finally just took another vicodin and a celebrex and went to bed, hoping that I felt better Monday morning. No such luck though.

When I got up Monday, I "thought" I was feeling better, but then I bent over to pick up a pair of pants and my back completely went out and I ended up on the floor. Talk about painful! I don't know how long I laid there before I finally just told myself that I had to get up. I managed to pull myself over to the bed and lug my big ol' butt up off the floor that way. I spent most of yesterday on the couch, sipping banana rum and watching tv. I didn't move a lot at all because every movement sent sharp pains in all directions.

Thinking that a hot bath might help, I had hubby help me into the tub later that evening. It felt good while I was in there, but then I had the fun of trying to get back out. Major mistake on my part. It took several minutes to even haul myself up to a kneeling position, then to standing. I had to have hubby physically lift me over the side of the tub because I couldn't get my leg up high enough without pain. Talk about embarrassing! It's one thing to have your husband sweep you lovingly into his arms, but to have to haul your naked butt out of the tub because you can't move, well, let's just say it isn't the most romantic thing.

Later that evening when I went to bed, I decided to seek a bit of help from the man upstairs. I wasn't looking for a huge miracle cure, just enough help to get me moving again. I have a doctor's appointment next week. I can deal with the type of pain I'd been having in the one leg (numbness, some throbbing, etc), but I just could not deal with the inability to move and do my daily things. I just kept repeating over and over until I fell asleep that I needed help.

When I woke up this morning, I really didn't figure I'd feel any different and when I first rolled over to shut the alarm off I did still feel twinges in my lower back. But, I got up and slowly made my way to the bathroom...no problem. I got dressed...no problem. I walked out to the living room...still no problem. I think it is safe to say that I got my little miracle. I still have pain in the right leg and it is still tingling and sort of numb, but the pain in my left hip/lower back is pretty much gone today! I'm taking it easy and not over doing, for fear that I'll mess it up again, but at least I'm able to walk out to the car, even if it is slowly. I was able to drive into town, get some work done online, etc. I hope beyond hope that it stays this way....at least until my doctor's appointment next Friday.

EDIT: Got a phone call from the neurologist this afternoon to let me know that the doctor wasn't going to be in next Friday. I thought, "great, how much longer am I going to have to wait now", but I was pleasantly surprised to hear that they wanted me to come in this coming Monday, the 2nd, instead. Yay! Less time to wait in pain. I'm very very happy.

I'm back...I think

Did you miss me? I am finally back. I finished up the billing only to end up sick as a dog for a few days. Started feeling better from that and then my back started acting up. To end it all, I had a killer migraine yesterday that totally threw me for a loop. I accomplished absolutely squat the entire day and so today has been a day of playing catch up. I think I deserve this 3 day weekend coming up although I've already been informed that we'll be doing yardwork and getting the pool ready so I guess I'll still be working. Blah!

The Big 4-0

Today is my birthday...the big 4-0. I must admit that I wasn't looking forward to this day. For the past year, I've been teased about turning 40 and it was starting to get to me. I got up this morning, however, with a good attitude and guess what. It's actually made the day pretty good. Oh, and the gifts helped a lot too. HA!

My daughter gave me two cds:





I had lunch with my mom,


And hubby sent me these beautiful flowers:


Hubby is also saying that there will be dinner out tonight and my son also has a gift for me, but he said I had to wait until he gets home from school today to receive it. All in all, a good 40th. I don't know what I was afraid of.

Woo Hoo!

I knew that my hubby had talked to someone about getting our deck built around the pool this year, but I had no idea that he'd already made plans for them to do it. This is what I came home to today:


I'm so excited! No climbing out of the pool on a wobbly ladder this year. No chance of slipping and breaking my neck on wet plastic. No grassy feet getting into the clean pool water. Yay! This deck is attached to our other deck by the walkway that you can see in the second picture. The deck by the pool isn't huge, but it is big enough to set a couple of lawn chairs or a chair and side table on. It'll be so nice to be able to climb out of the pool and sunbathe if I want this year. Or, if I don't feel like getting into the pool, I'll still be able to sit out by it and enjoy watching the kids swim. I'm just so ecstatic about this whole surprise. Now it just needs to warm up enough so I can enjoy it.

This and That Update

I noticed that I hadn't written for almost a week and figured I'd better post to let everybody know what's going on here.

Thankfully, things have calmed down some. My son is doing much better. No more neck pain and his knee is pretty well healed too. My back is still giving me problems, but I think it will until I get in to see the doctor in June. At least I can function. There for awhile I couldn't do much of anything because it hurt to sit, stand, lay down and everything else. I wasn't sleeping at night and was totally exhausted which really didn't help the pain either. So, although I'm still hurting, it isn't as bad. The part that scares me the most is that my leg is constantly numb on the outside now. It just makes me wonder how much damage I have already done to the nerve and how much more will there be by the time I get in to see the doctor. Will it even be fixable by that time? Scary thought. My daughter had to have another appointment with the doctor for her knee. She wanted to send her to an orthopedist, but after finding out that our insurance wouldn't cover it (benefits of being self-employed strike again!) she said that physical therapy would probably help just as well and we should go that route first. My daughter is now doing knee strengthening exercises twice a day (here at home) to see how that works. If it doesn't then obviously the orthopedist will be called, but if it does work then that's great too.

Hubby is going to a biodiesel seminar this weekend in Nebraska. With the price of diesel going through the roof, he's decided that we have to do something to cut costs or we're going to go out of business. Already, he's paying almost $4.15 a gallon for diesel. Our big trucks (all three of them) easily take $300 each time we fuel them up and that is usually once each day. Plus we also have two smaller ones that top out over $150 each fuel up. We don't run those every day, but still it adds up when we do. He'll be gone all weekend for the seminar so no relaxation for him:(

My daughter has her junior prom this weekend. She's been busy all week, helping to decorate for it. She's getting excited. She is going with a bunch of her friends so it should be really fun. I'll post pictures when we get them back afterwards. I just hope the weather holds out and it is a nice day/evening for the activities. Pictures always look so much prettier when they are taken outdoors. Right now they are saying there might be rain this weekend so we are all keeping our fingers crossed that it doesn't.

Guess that's it. I'm so happy to finally not have a major catastrophe or illness to write about.

Trying to Join the Club

As you know from my last couple of posts, my kids are having problems with their knees. Both kids, one left knee, one right knee. I was joking with my daughter yesterday about how I felt left out of her and my son's exclusive "knee club". She told me that I couldn't join unless I hurt my knee, my back hurting wasn't enough of a qualification. We chuckled about it and then went on about our day. Who would have thought that later that afternoon I'd almost qualify to join the "club" after all.

I had to run to the post office to get stamps for this month's billing to be sent out. On my way out to the garage, I was walking in front of my daughter's car when my foot, for some reason, decided not to lift high enough to step over the bag of grass seed that was laying there. Lo and behold, down I went....on my right knee, full body force into the concrete. Pain shot down my leg, up my back, through my kneecap. I thought I was down for the count. After taking several deep breaths however, and realizing that our walls must be extremely sound proof since nobody was coming to my aid even though I did my fair amount of screaming and yelling, I pulled myself up, wiped the dirt off my pants legs and went ahead and got in my car. I figured as long as I could walk that I wasn't hurt bad enough to go back inside. Besides, I really needed those stamps.

All the way into town, my knee was throbbing. It burned and stung so I knew I'd scraped it up pretty good, but I wasn't going to give in to my curiousity and look at how badly it was hurt. Not until I got home was I going to pull that pants leg up and investigate. I got my stamps and even went to the gas station and fueled up my car then headed home. As soon as I got inside, my daughter asked if I'd yelled for her when I left. All kinds of smart ass remarks came to mind, but I kept them to myself and instead told her that yes, I had indeed yelled for her, but when she didn't answer I just kept on going. She asked what I'd needed and when I told her what I'd done she just smirked and said that I'd do pretty much anything to get into that club, wouldn't I? Smart ass!:)

Anyway, to make a very long story much shorter (sorry), I fell on my knee, didn't do much damage to it, it's scraped up and black and blue, kind of stiff, but not too bad. It'll be fine in a week. I still didn't get into the club either. My daughter said that they already had a rightie (her), and since that's the knee I hurt there just wasn't an opening for me. She said if I hurt both knees then they'd think about letting me join. I think I'll pass.

Humpty Dumpty's Family

Let me introduce you all to Humpty Dumpty's family. First, myself. I guess I'm the original Humpty. With my back problems, I feel like I'll never be put back together again. Next, is Hubby Dumpty. He is also having back problems, shoulder problems and such. His is from too much heavy lifting and unless he can sell our business or find some other smuck to do all the physical labor, well, guess he won't be getting put back together anytime soon either. Next is my daughter. She fell a couple of months back at school while going up the stairs. Yes, you read that right. She fell UP the stairs. Anyway, she landed on her knee. It swelled up like a balloon and was black and blue for a few days, but nothing major. Except for now. Now it has decided to start giving her problems. By problems I mean locking up on her while she is walking or completely buckling under her weight. Not good. She goes to the doctor on Wednesday and maybe, just maybe, they can put her back together again. Then today, the final member of the Humpty Dumpty family...my son. He's usually a pretty rough and tumble kid, but today he wrecked his go-cart and banged up his knee. He is also icing it, keeping it elevated, and such, but I have a feeling we'll be seeing the good ol' doctor for him too. So there you have it...the entire Humpty Dumpty family. I think I'm just going to wrap everybody in bubble wrap. Maybe then we won't be breaking anymore.

Still Waiting

Finally heard back from my doctor about the neurologist's appointment for my back. Looks like I can't get in to see him until JUNE 6!!! I'm annoyed, but relieved at the same time. I know I need to get some sort of an answer as to why I'm hurting, but at the same time I'm afraid to find out what is causing the pain and how it would need to be fixed. Everything I've read about sciatica has pointed to surgery if the pain radiates farther down then mid-thigh. Well, my pain radiates all the way down to my ankle so I just have this feeling that I will need surgery OR that there won't be anything they can do for me. Both are scary thoughts.

I had back surgery when I was 13 years old for my scoliosis and I really don't want to have to go through another one. I know there are people out there who are saying to themselves "Why? If it will get rid of your pain, why not go through surgery". And my answer is this: If you have never gone through back surgery then you don't know how frightening it is especially when the doctors put the possibility of paralysis out there. I know that there have been lots of advancements in surgical techniques since I had my surgery all those years ago, but there is still that possibility that surgery wouldn't turn out right. Maybe I'm just a big chicken. Yeah, I know I am.

I guess I will just have to wait and see. Maybe, come June, I won't even be in pain anymore. I HOPE I'm not in pain that long.