Still Waiting

Finally heard back from my doctor about the neurologist's appointment for my back. Looks like I can't get in to see him until JUNE 6!!! I'm annoyed, but relieved at the same time. I know I need to get some sort of an answer as to why I'm hurting, but at the same time I'm afraid to find out what is causing the pain and how it would need to be fixed. Everything I've read about sciatica has pointed to surgery if the pain radiates farther down then mid-thigh. Well, my pain radiates all the way down to my ankle so I just have this feeling that I will need surgery OR that there won't be anything they can do for me. Both are scary thoughts.

I had back surgery when I was 13 years old for my scoliosis and I really don't want to have to go through another one. I know there are people out there who are saying to themselves "Why? If it will get rid of your pain, why not go through surgery". And my answer is this: If you have never gone through back surgery then you don't know how frightening it is especially when the doctors put the possibility of paralysis out there. I know that there have been lots of advancements in surgical techniques since I had my surgery all those years ago, but there is still that possibility that surgery wouldn't turn out right. Maybe I'm just a big chicken. Yeah, I know I am.

I guess I will just have to wait and see. Maybe, come June, I won't even be in pain anymore. I HOPE I'm not in pain that long.