Who's Right?

Two different opinions here. Please tell me which one is right.

The background: Work at Home business has informal office. No set hours really, work out of the house, take care of home, family and work at the same time.

Side #1: Office help answers phones from time she gets out of bed in morning until she goes to bed at night, does billing and any other business stuff that is needed, but if something comes up with kids or family takes takes the time during the day to take care of the problem then works later into the evening to make up for it. If cars oil needs changed, she goes early in the morning then comes back and answers any messages that have been left. She does not take a lunch hour but rather answers phones, does paperwork, etc. while eating at her desk. She does not take specific breaks either and usually has the phone with her wherever (and I do mean wherever) she goes so as not to miss any calls. Also works on weekends, but does not get paid for anything or get thanks or gratitude for doing anything.

Side #2: Owner of business is out working physcially from 4am to 6pm most days of the week. He does not take a lunch or a break either. When something needs done he calls office help and expects it to be done at that exact minute. Expects office help to be on call 24-7 whether it is weekday or weekend. Does not want office help to do anything except set by the phone, waiting for people to call. If office help needs to get things done with kids, owner does not want it to be during business hours however also doesn't want office help to take the day off to do those things. For example, doctor's appt. should always be on weekends but our doctor doesn't work on weekends and other things like that which can only be done during the week. He also expects office help to drop everything at once if HE needs her to run somewhere or do something for him. Never says good job, never says thank you for any job that office help does. Contantly yells at office help when things are not right, but when office help gets upset and yells back it is her fault and she shouldn't do that.

Ok, I'm sure you realize that office help is me and owner is hubby. But please tell me who is in the right here? We've always said from the very beginning of this business that if things had to be done during the weekday that it would be fine that I do them as long as work didn't suffer. Work has NEVER suffered from my being gone a few hours during the day. Very rarely do I leave this house unless it is at the end of the week and things are slow business-wise and even when I do leave, if I come home to messages I IMMEDIATELY return those calls. We've NEVER had set office hours in the entire 5 years that we've done this. People call anywhere from 5am to 11pm so how can we? I do put a limit on when I take phone calls, but apparantly even that is wrong to do. Now hubby has forbidden me from going to lunch with my grandma who will be turning 99(!!!) years old this Saturday because it will interfere with "the workday". I am sick and tired of it. If this was an actual office setting then I could understand it, but it's not. If any other "boss" treated me this way, I would have quit a long time ago, but with it being my hubby I can't very well do that without risking marital strife too.

So, anyway, anybody that has any comments I'd really appreciate them. Even if they are comments stating that I am in the wrong, please leave them here. It's entirely possible that I am not seeing how wrong I am in this situation.

Update: Just got a call from Mr. Wonderful and now he is saying how sorry he is for acting like a jerk, I do a lot for him and he doesn't want to fight anymore. Ok, so apparantly he's had time to "think" about today, but you know what? It'll happen again in another week or two. This is a neverending episode in our lives right now. He yells, I cry/yell, he apologizes, I continue to walk around on eggshells. I just wish he'd stop yelling in the first place. If he has a problem, talk about it instead of immediately jumping down my throat. I guess he's never heard that you catch more flies with honey. Oh well, I guess this will make for an interesting evening. At least it won't be an extremely tense one.