Saturday, July 15, 2006

Why do I even try to do it?

There are days, today is one, that I wonder why I even try to keep up on this blog. Every time I think I'm recommiting to this diet, something happens and I fall off the wagon and go right back to my old eating habits. I thought blogging would help me with that, but it hasn't. Some people get so much inspiration from writing down their feelings, but it just isn't working for me. Others feel accountable to the whole world of bloggers by posting their goals and ambitions, but it seems like nobody even reads my blog anymore (this is the pessimism talking)so what's the point.

I was doing so well rededicating myself to eating healthy. I'd gone three whole weeks (that's a lot for me!) without slipping up once and I was losing at a nice slow and steady rate, but then my hubby had his accident and after that with the stress of taking care of him, hoping things ran smoothly with our business while he was unable to work, well, the stress got the better of me. I've ate nothing but convenient junk food these past couple of weeks and the scale has shown me that by moving right back up to where it was when I started this diet. And, of course, now I'm not in the right mindset anymore to even think about eating right and exercising. God, what is the matter with me? Why can't I get this thing right? When is that little light bulb going to come on inside my head and stay on so that I can kick this bad habit of mine and get fit and healthy? Hopefully some day soon, but it's not there now at all. My bulb has burnt out and it doesn't look like I'm going to be replacing it any time soon.

1 comment:

Karon said...

Sorry to read about the fireworks incident. I do pray that your hubby is healing better now. It's so hard to stick with things when we're stressed. Whatever you decide to do, do it for you.