Rambling Thoughts

I was sitting watching tv last night when I got to thinking about Nutrisystem and how I've been doing on it lately. I thought long and hard about WHY I started Nutrisystem last April. I thought of all of the reasons I wanted to lose weight and all of the things that I wanted to accomplish. After doing that, I started thinking about what I've been doing to get to those goals and I came up with pretty much ZIP. ZILCH. NADA.

You see, ever since Thanksgiving, I've just not been in the mood to follow the NS plan. Actually since that time, I've lost a total of 3 measly pounds and last week I GAINED 2 of those back! And the way I've been going, that last one will come back this week.

There are days that I have all the motivation in the world when I get out of bed, but by the time lunch rolls around I'm at the McDonald's drive-up window ordering a Big Mac and fries. I'll be gung-ho about walking on my treadmill, only to let it slip by the wayside and then come bedtime, I've still not done any walking.

I remember how excited I was when I first started NS and how much motivation and willpower I had then. I diligently ate nothing but what was on the NS plan. I passed right by the fast food restaurants. I got as many steps in on my pedometer as I possibly could by taking a longer route to the mail box or parking farther away at the stores. I drank all my water. But now, for some reason, I just can't do it. I've tried almost everything I can think of to get that motivation back, but it just doesn't want to come my way.

I talked to my cousin today and we seem to think that it might be because of the winter months and not being able to get outdoors. I know in the past I've had problems with being energetic in the winter. There were times that I'd be in bed at 7pm. I just couldn't stay awake. It's not that bad now, but I do tend to notice the lack of energy and get up and go around this time of year. I hope that once the weather turns warmer and the sun stays out longer, that my motivation returns and I can kick this diet back into full gear. I don't want to gain back the 41 lbs. that I've lost. I don't want to lose all of the things that I've accomplished because of my weight loss. I don't want to go back. I want to move forward.