Why do I even try to do it?

There are days, today is one, that I wonder why I even try to keep up on this blog. Every time I think I'm recommiting to this diet, something happens and I fall off the wagon and go right back to my old eating habits. I thought blogging would help me with that, but it hasn't. Some people get so much inspiration from writing down their feelings, but it just isn't working for me. Others feel accountable to the whole world of bloggers by posting their goals and ambitions, but it seems like nobody even reads my blog anymore (this is the pessimism talking)so what's the point.

I was doing so well rededicating myself to eating healthy. I'd gone three whole weeks (that's a lot for me!) without slipping up once and I was losing at a nice slow and steady rate, but then my hubby had his accident and after that with the stress of taking care of him, hoping things ran smoothly with our business while he was unable to work, well, the stress got the better of me. I've ate nothing but convenient junk food these past couple of weeks and the scale has shown me that by moving right back up to where it was when I started this diet. And, of course, now I'm not in the right mindset anymore to even think about eating right and exercising. God, what is the matter with me? Why can't I get this thing right? When is that little light bulb going to come on inside my head and stay on so that I can kick this bad habit of mine and get fit and healthy? Hopefully some day soon, but it's not there now at all. My bulb has burnt out and it doesn't look like I'm going to be replacing it any time soon.

Hubby update

We had to make a trip to the doctor today for my hubby. He broke out with a fever yesterday and that is a sign of infection so I forced him to go to the clinic today. I'm so glad that I made him go too. The doctor looked at his leg and told him that it was as close to a 3rd degree burn as you could get without actually having one. He also said that hubby really should have gone to the ER that night right after it happened instead of just listening to the EMT that came out with the fire department. (I told him so!) His burns are now infected and he has to take the rest of the week off work and keep his leg elevated. The burns are not healing and his leg is pretty swollen. The doctor gave him a shot of high dose antibiotics and he is also taking them orally. They said if he didn't listen and stay off the leg that he could possibly LOSE IT! I hope that shocked him enough to listen. I'll tie him down if I have to just to make sure he does.

I don't know if I can handle dealing with another person with burns. As my friends and family know, my son had 3rd degrees burns when he was 2 years old. He pulled a slow cooker full of broth down off the counter and onto his head and shoulder. He had to have skin grafts on his arm. The doctor said if hubby's burns don't start to heal that he might also have to go through that. We don't have insurance now (thankfully we did when it happened to my son) so if he has to have surgery I don't know what we will do. I'm hoping and praying though that it doesn't come to that.

Other then that, things have calmed down here. Thankfully we have people who can cover for my hubby at work and I am home to take care of him and make sure he listens to the doctor. We won't be going out to watch the fireworks tonight in town, but I think we've all had enough fireworks this year.

I hope everyone else has a happy and SAFE 4th of July.

When it rains, it pours

I hate that saying, but it is so true when things tend to go wrong for me and my family. It never is just one small thing, it is always more. This has been the cruddiest weekend I've had for a long time.

It started Saturday with hubby getting into a big argument with one of our employees. I just knew that 1) hubby was going to have a stroke from the stress or 2) the employee was going to just up and quit and leave us hurting for help. Thankfully they were able to work things out, at least for now.

The next not so wonderful thing happened Saturday evening when my hubby and kids decided to light off some fireworks. Now, I am NOT a fan of fireworks, never have been and never will be. I don't like them, they scare me. I worry every year when they are outside setting them off that someone is going to get hurt or they'll start a fire. Well, this year my worries came true. I was inside at the computer, listening as one thing popped after another when all of a sudden my daughter comes flying inside "MOM, dad needs you outside quick! The field is on fire!" I thought she was joking at first because she didn't sound too panicked, but when I looked out the bedroom window there it was a ring of fire in the wheat field across the road from our house and my hubby frantically beating at the flames with his shirt. I called the fire department then ran out to see if I could help. We hooked up the hose and formed a bucket brigade. Thankfully they had harvested the wheat the day before so it was just stubble out there, but it still burned pretty quick. We were able to put it out before the fire department got out here, but in the process of trying my hubby got some pretty bad burns on his leg. They are second degree so not as bad as they could have been, but still.

And now finally to top off this wonderful (i say sarcastically) weekend, our ac has stopped working. We came home this evening to a house that was almost 90 degrees inside, the ac buzzing noisily out back. And of course this week is supposed to be hot and humid, highs in the 90's, until Thursday. DAMMIT, why does everything have to happen all at once? I'm so sick of it, but you know I'm just going to go hop in the tub and light some candles and relax. Hopefully tomorrow morning will be better and things will get back on track. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one anyway.