So far, So good

I've been really good this week, so far. I've walked and ate only healthy foods. I've drank all my water too, but that's been pretty easy since temps have been close to 90 degrees each day. It's when it cools off that I just can't seem to reach for the water. I will weigh in on Saturday morning. I'm hoping (and praying) for a good little drop on the scale. I'll fill you in then and let you know what it shows.



Well, school is almost out for my kids. Today is their last full day. They are off tomorrow then go back Friday for a measly half an hour to pick up their report cards. I still can't believe that the school year is over already. My daughter will be starting her SOPHOMORE year this fall and my son will be going into 6th grade, his last year of elementary school. Where has the time gone?

Oh, get this. Over the weekend, my daughter (15 years old) asked me when she could start DATING!!!! Immediately my answer was never, but then after calming down I thought about it and wondered when will I be ready to let her date? I didn't have my first real date until I was 18 years old. Do I make her wait that long? I know when I was her age I wanted to date and felt like my parents were treating me like a baby when they wouldn't let me. Do I make her feel the same way? That's just a scary thought for me. She shouldn't even be old enough to like boys. They should still have cooties, as she used to say. When she asked my hubby, he just got a dazed deer in the headlights look on his face and never did answer her. Lots of help he is. I still haven't given her an answer. I wonder how long she'll let me get away with that? Wouldn't it be nice if she never brought up the subject again? Wishful thinking, I know.

Let's try this again

Ok, I've had a lot of time to think about this whole diet thing and I've come to the conclusion that I'm worth more then a twinkie and some potato chips. I'm worth fresh fruit and veggies, lean meats and fresh sparkling water. I'm worth many years of healthy living. So, I'm back at it. I'm trying my hardest to eat healthy and move my body. I can do it. I know I can because I'm worth it!

Feelings

I'm feeling so frustrated, annoyed and like a failure. Why? Because I weighed myself this morning and, ugh, I'm so ashamed to even type this, but I've gained back TWENTY of the 43 lbs. that I lost over the past year!

Why in the world did I let that happen? I knew when I stopped eating Nutrisystem that I was going to have problems, but I didn't think I would gain back that much so fast. The part that frustrates me the most though is that even though I KNOW and SEE how much I've gained, I can't stop eating the junk food. I told myself after I got off the scale this morning that I was going to eat healthier today, but the minute I went into the kitchen I reached for the junk. It's like I'm addicted to it. And it's not like I don't have the healthy foods in the house. I just went to the store last week so I have plenty. But it's like I don't even see those things.
I don't want to gain all the weight I've lost back, but if I don't nip this in the bud soon I know that is what is going to happen. I want to get that motivation back that I had last year at this time, but even digging down deep inside I just can't seem to find it. I'm hoping that posting on here will get some good motivational thoughts headed my way from all my friends and family. Believe me, I could use some right now.

Weird Weather

It has been raining here for almost the past week and temps have been really cold. Yesterday it actually warmed up a bit, but then it stormed last night. It rained hard and there was plenty of thunder and lightning and even some hail. Thankfully it wasn't big enough to cause any damage. Today it's been sunny except for about fifteen minutes when it got totally dark and just poured down rain. There was hail mixed in with that too. Now the sun is back out and shining like crazy. What gives?

Sorry I've been gone

I know I've not posted for a week and I'm sorry about that. Between being busy and being sick (yes, sick again) it's just been hectic here. I've been fighting a cold for the past two weeks now. It started as a head cold, but moved into my chest. Now it won't go away. Every day I think I'm starting to feel better, but the next morning I'm back to coughing and not being able to breathe. It stinks! And this is the time of the month when we do the billing for our business and that's just always hectic trying to get all the invoices ready to go out. It's done now though so the rest of the month shouldn't be too bad.

I hope all the mom's had a great Mothers Day this past weekend. I know I did. The kids gave me a beautiful redbud tree for our front yard. I had wanted one for awhile so that was a nice surprise. My hubby took me out to the casino in Evansville and we spent Saturday evening there. I didn't win big, but did come out with more $$ then I went in with so didn't do too bad. Hubby, on the other hand, lost all the money he took with him. He just wasn't having the best luck that night. We had a nice dinner that night too and came back home Sunday afternoon. So, all in all, I had a great Mom's Day.

Things should be getting back to normal around here now since most holidays and special occasions are done. Well, Memorial Day is coming up but we don't normally do much on that holiday. I'm hoping the weather warms back up soon too. It's been in the 50's and rainy for over a week now. I'm ready for that to stop and get back up in the 70's where the temps belong for this time of year. The kids are counting down the days until the end of school (only 12 more as of this morning). I'm sure they'll fly by.....for me anyway, maybe not so much for the kids. Guess that's it. I promise I'll do better at posting this week. "Talk" to ya all later!

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday. I'm officially 38 years young now although I still feel, and probably act at times, like I'm 21:) My family and I celebrated yesterday by going out for a nice lunch and also buying my gift, which I love and have been wanting for years. It is pictured below...



I immediately came home and put it together, filled it with water and turned it on to enjoy. Love the sound of running water. It is just so relaxing. I was hoping that today would be halfway quiet, but no dice. The phone has been ringing off the hook all morning. I'm hoping that this afternoon though it will taper off so I can get outside and enjoy my fountain some more. I hope everyone has a great day today! Talk to you all later.

What Your Birthdate Means

Since my birthday is Monday, I thought I'd take this quiz and post the results. Funny that it said I should be my own boss since I am already self-employed.

Your Birthdate: May 8

Watch out Donald Trump! You've got a head for business and money. You'll make it rich some day, even if you haven't figured out how yet. A supreme individualist, you shouldn't get stuck in a corporate job. Instead, make your own way - so that you can be the boss. Your strength: Your undying determination Your weakness: You require an opulent lifestyle Your power color: Plum Your power symbol: Dollar sign Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

TGIF

Tomorrow is my daughter's 15th birthday. I am still having a hard time believing that she is really going to be that old. Seems like only yesterday that she was toddling around the living room, singing Barney songs. Harder still to believe that next year she'll be driving a car! Yikes! I'm getting old!

Anyway, I've been running around all week trying to get things ready for her bday. She is having a friend spend the night tonight so needed to make sure we have plenty of snack food for the late night chats, movies for them to watch, clean sheets for the bed, etc. Bought her bday gifts yesterday (new outfit, cd) so that's all set. We're taking her out for dinner tonight so she'll be choosing the restaurant. I have a feeling it will be Mexican (her favorite), but it might be something that we'll all eat. I figure both girls will sleep in tomorrow, but in the afternoon we're going to a Home Interiors party, which I was invited to go to. Not something that I figured either girl would be interested in, but they both said they want to go so will bring them along too.

I'm finishing up laundry this morning, doing a bit of cleaning and trying to do business stuff too. I feel like I'm going in a hundred different directions. Diet has been completely forgotten. I weighed this morning and since I stopped using NS, I've put on 10 lbs! I know what I should be eating, but for the life of me just can't get back into it. Hubby says I should just learn to love myself as I am, but I don't know if I can.

Ho-Hum

Hi all, sorry I've not posted lately. After all the excitement and stress of the past month, it's actually been pretty boring here lately. I'm glad though. I really needed the break.

Since things have calmed down here, I've been able to lead a more normal life. I finally made it outside yesterday and got the yard mowed. It took 3 hours(!!!) to do it, but at least it is now done. I couldn't believe how tall the grass was in some areas. Nothing else grows in our yard, but boy, the grass and weeds sure do! It felt great to be outside yesterday and I didn't want to come back in even after I finished the outdoor work so I cleaned out my car. Just being in the fresh air gave me so much energy. I can tell it today though. I could hardly get out of bed this morning because of the sore muscles. Ouch.


I got a nice Administrative Assistant Day gift from the lady that I help out once a week. She is a Mary Kay seller so any gifts she gives me are Mary Kay products. Normally it is a body wash and lotion, but this time she gave me the mint bliss foot and leg lotion and also a fabulous coral nail polish for my toesies. I can't wait to use the stuff, but will have to hide it from my daughter otherwise she'll end up using it all.

Speaking of the kids, they are home from school now so I need to log off here and spend time with them. I'm told that is what a good parent does. LOL

What do People Envy about You?

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

HAPPY EASTER

Audit update

It's finally over. I made it through the audit in one piece. The guy actually got here half an hour earlier then he said he would so I didn't really have much time to get into a state of panic. Unfortunately, he wasn't a hottie:( He was very nice though and answered all of my questions without making me feel stupid. He was only here 90 minutes, but it still felt like an eternity. Especially when he asked me for some paperwork that I did NOT have! Thankfully it wasn't a mandatory thing to keep. Whew. He did say that we are going to owe a bit more to the IRS (imagine that!), but we won't know exactly how much until we get a letter from them, probably a couple of months from now. Great, something else to worry about. The reason for owing more taxes, at least, was not my fault. Apparently the state of Illinois sent me the wrong percentage rate to put in my payroll program. No penalties will be added, but I'm sure there will still be interest. I don't think the State ever does anything without adding interest to it nor would they ever admit fault. I'm sure if I called someone there, they'd tell me that I should have caught that mistake BEFORE I put the amount in my program. So, anyway, to make a long story short....I survived. I just hope we never have to go through that again.

An earlier post then normal

Figured I'd log on tonight and get my post up since tomorrow the dreaded auditor is coming. I tell you, I'm not ready for this guy to be here, but I'll sure be glad when it's all finished. I've been a nervous wreck this entire week and have not slept worth a crap at all. Last night, I kept replaying worst case scenarios through my head all night long. There's nothing I can do about the guy coming or about what he will find, but I tell ya, I've just about been driven to drink because of it. The only salvation I've had thinking about this guy is the possibility that he will be a hottie. Don't laugh! It could happen. I mean, surely not all IRS people are old man scrooges!

Diet-wise, I've not done well at all. I've pretty much been doing whatever all week, eating what I want when I want. I hopped on the scale this morning just to see how much damage I'd done and I am up 2 lbs. I figured as much and truthfully, it isn't bothering me. I know once the stress in my life settles down that things will get back to normal and I'll again move in the right direction. I did visit the website that Karon told me about and signed up. I've not followed any of their advice yet (sorry, Karon!), but I have been looking over the website and message boards each day to get inspiration. It all makes sense and I know I can do it. Hopefully, once tomorrow is over and done then I can get into it and get back to becoming a smaller version of myself:)

Time off

It's been another rough week here. I'm still trying to get things ready for our audit next Friday. I can't believe how many things this guy is requiring. I have them all, but all of last years paperwork is buried in my closet so it's taken some doing get it all back out.

Diet has pretty much gone by the wayside. I mentioned in my last post that I was probably going to stop using NS because of the expense. I went ahead and delayed my next shipment, but kept my account active just in case I can't do it on my own. At least that way I won't lose my discount. Anyway, this past week I've not even tried to follow any type of plan. I've ate some NS food that I still have left, have had lean cuisine meals a couple evenings too, but have also ate whatever I've wanted. Thankfully the scale is still the same as last week.

I know I can't go without some sort of formal diet. I've tried that in the past and it didn't work. I thought about just keeping my portion sizes small, but I seem to do that then add junk on top. Not good. So, will check out a website that Karon recommended and see what they have to say. I want to make this work.

Am I :-) or am I :-(

Another maintain for this week. Frustrating, but at least it isn't a gain. With all the crap I've been dealing with, I really am surprised that I didn't gain weight. Another thing that is stressing me out is that I think I'm going to have to stop ordering Nutrisystem. It's just getting too expensive. I've been reading over some of the NS board posts with others who follow NS without using their food and I think it is totally doable for me to follow suit, but it is still scary. I mean, I've not lost weight USING the ns food, do I really think I'll lose using my own? That is my stressed out mind talking now, but still, it does enter my mind. I am going to try though. I don't want to gain back what I have already lost.

It just keeps getting worse

I don't know how, but it just keeps getting worse around here. Maybe it's the fact that I'm already completely stressed out. Maybe it's that everything has decided to hit us all at once. I just know that I'm sick and tired of it all. I just want to run away or crawl into a hole and hide from the world. Can I do that? It wouldn't make any of these problems go away, but it sure would be nice to not have to deal with them. I'm not going to go into detail here, but I will say that the things that are going wrong are financial. It usually wouldn't be this bad, but it seems like the hole is just getting deeper and deeper no matter what I try to do about it. One of these days, it is going to be so deep that we're not going to be able to crawl back out of it.

The dreaded IRS audit

Guess what? I received a letter from the IRS a few days ago letting us know that our business has been selected for an audit. Yippee, I say. Sounds like fun. Just what I needed to add to my already stressed out life. WooHoo.

Thankfully it is just a payroll audit and not a full fledged federal one, but still it's not something that I'm looking forward to dealing with. Sure I keep good records, we pay all the required taxes (at least I hope we do!), file all the correct forms, etc. It's just the idea, I guess, that freaks me out.

The audit is scheduled for April 14th. I can tell you right now I'll be dreading that day until it gets here. Even then, I'll be a nervous wreck until the auditor leaves. Wish me luck, guys and gals. I hope I don't have a nervous breakdown before the big day arrives.

My week in review

It's not been an exciting week, but it has been a busy one.

Monday was spent doing all sorts of odds and ends around the house, trying to get a bit of spring cleaning done. It seemed like the day flew by and I really didn't get as much crossed off my list as I'd hoped. I did manage to get all the floors mopped and vacuumed, some clutter and junk tossed out and some major dusting done. I also rearranged some of my furniture so I now have a bit more room to do my striptease workout video. I even got in an hour or so phone call with my cousin to get caught up with each other. I always enjoy that:)

Tuesday was spent home with the kids. It snowed here, about 6 inches total, so they had a snow day. I usually don't mind them being home, but they were so rowdy that I finally had to force them to go outside and play to burn off some of their extra energy. I went out also and cleared the snow from the sidewalk, deck and part of the drive so got in a bit of exercise for myself too.

Wednesday was full of fielding phone calls from some of our customers who were wondering if our trucks had been out during the snows on Tuesday. All were answered with a yes and most of the people couldn't believe that we were out in that bad weather. I guess we should adopt the postman's creed. It fits us too. Thankfully most of the snow has melted from the roads already. That's the only thing I like about March snows. They don't last long at all.

Thursday was a fun day for me. My friend from Iowa was home again for a visit so we were able to get together for the day. Went to Applebee's for lunch and then came back to my house for a nice visit. Her kids loved it here. Can't say my cat enjoyed their company so much, but oh well. Made me feel good that the kids enjoyed seeing me and spending time together too, but it also made me sad that I don't get to see them very often. Usually just a couple times each year.

And then yesterday, that's the day that I usually look forward to, but not this week. Got into a major fight with the hubby over some stupid little thing so the day was spent being annoyed. Days like that tend to have everything go wrong too and yesterday was no different. Even the little things weren't working out right for me. I know my bad attitude didn't help, but I couldn't get out of the funk that the fight with hubby put me into. I didn't let it get to me so much though that I ate away the misery like I would have in the past. I did good and stayed on NS 100%.

Today I weighed (I forgot yesterday), but I was still the same as last week. I'm upset that I'm not losing especially since I was so psyched to restart and get back on track, but I'll just keep trudging along. The weight will drop off eventually (at least I HOPE it does) and I'll get there. Onward and downward I go. Talk to you later.

Another week gone

Another week gone, but no pounds lost for me. I figure it is because TOM is due to arrive any day so I'm trying not to beat myself up too much. I've done fairly well following NS and have only cheated one day. That was with a Subway sandwich so even then it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Things have calmed down a bit here, thankfully, so some of the stress that I've been dealing with has gone away. I'm ready for spring to get here and have even started doing some of my spring cleaning. There is a lot more to do though so it will be awhile before my house is nice and springtime fresh.

Not much else going on so will close for today. I hope everyone has a nice St. Patty's day! Later.

Weigh In

Sorry I didn't post Friday. I'm down another pound for the week so still moving in the right direction. It's still pretty stressful around here. Saturday was my nephew's 7th birthday party. I went along with my son. Made me realize why I never offered to host any bday parties like that for my kids. Gee was it loud.

Today is being spent working...again. Seems like it's neverending here lately. I'm so ready for a break.